Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Day Ten - Choose Wisely

     I received the following message in an email today and I couldn't have found the words to say it better myself...
     "Sometimes we have to choose whether we want to be right, or whether we want to be happy.  Sometimes we have to keep our opinions, issues, grievances and complaints to ourelves in order to love and respect others who are important to us.
     It doesn't make you weak to bite your tongue when the conversation gets heated.  Live your truth, and let others live theirs . . . making a choice to show love and patience instead of proving ourselves right when the issue really doesn't matter more than the person and the relationship does . . . choose your battles wisely.  People we love are always more important than just about anything."
     My husband and I have been married for twenty years.  As do most couples who have been together most of their lives, we tend to bicker about the small, insignificant things.  We love each other passionately and would lay down our lives for one another, but somehow that doesn't matter when he forgets to change the empty toilet paper roll or I have a different opinion than him over how the bougainvillea should be pruned!  We tend to have a battle of wills and sometimes we dig our heels in and refuse to budge just for the sake and satisfaction of being right.  How silly is that?  It took this email I received to make me realize that the choice is to be right or to be happy.  After all, what difference does it make and who is keeping score?  The most important thing to me is that he is happy and knows I love and respect him.  I can't show him that by proving my points every chance I get.
     So today, I gave in to a battle.  I won't say what it was about, but I did know in my heart that I was right. You know what?  It didn't matter.  I conceded easily and the conversation was over as quickly as it had begun.  He looked surprised--I could tell he was geared up for an argument--but I gave in and we were both happy.  It was over and he thought he was right and I knew I was right.  It was a win-win situation!  I'll save my battles for the things that are truly meaningful and life-altering--not on the trivial little things that clog up our relationships!

     “It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters.”
     ~ Mother Teresa

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